I was thinking about this on the post below, and then forgot to mention it. Another one of my goals is that I would like to get my Ph.D. When I got my BA, I swore off school. "Never again" were my exact words, but continuing my education has been on the forefront of my mind for some time now, even beyond my recent graduation. Part of that is economic. As a teacher, raises are linked to continuing education. The only way to get the uppermost brackets is to get a Ph.D. So that's certainly part of it. But there is another part, which is the joy of learning. I worked harder on my MA than on anything else I've ever done, and it has been immensely satisfying. I think pursuing a Ph.D. would also be personally enriching an rewarding.
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09:14:15 PM,
Thursday 2 July 2009
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I had lunch with a cute today.
Sadly, it wasn't a date - he just wanted to sell me financial planning services, but he's the son of a coworker, and this is his first job out of college (he just graduated) so I thought "Why not?" If it had been a date, it still would have been weird, because, co-workers son. Anyway, I got a free lunch out of it
One thing he asked me, which stuck with me, was, "What are your goals?" He was asking in the context of financial planning, but its still a good question, and I think, pertinent to me right now.
What are my goals?
For the past several years, I two overarching goals in my life: Get certified to teach theater and get my degree. Since January, I have been adding teaching certificates, so that now, in addition to Speech and Theater, I can also teach English (high school) and math (middle school). In May,I graduated with my masters degree.
At the present time, I have one goal: get a job. That's pretty pressing, but ultimately short term. Very short term. I hope to have a job by the end of the month, or next month at latest.
So, I'm back to the bigger question - What are my goals?
On the job front, I want a job, and I want one now. But more importantly, I want a job I like in a school I like in a city I like living in. These aspects will depend greatly on what I'm teaching and where. Place is probably the most important part of the equation. If I'm living in a city I like, I can more easily deal with a job or school that is less than ideal. If the city is less than ideal, the job itself better be perfect. The reality is, however, that I may have to "trade up" several times in order to secure the best job in the best place. Right now, though I have a degree, I am lacking in experience. As I gain experience, I'll have more flexibility in choosing a better job.
Next, is finding a place to live. I love my parents. I'm greatful I was able to stay with them, that I had that option. Without them, I don't know if I would have been able to get my degree or seriously pursue my present profession. It would have been much harder at a minimum. But, as much as I love them and appreciate them, I need to move out, and I know they need me to move out, too. I need my own space that is my space. Right now, and for the foreseeable future, that means an apartment, probably without a roommate. Eventually a house might come into the question, but since I'm young, single, without children, an apartment makes more economic sense.
The problem with this goal, however, is that it is entirely dependent on goal #1. Unless I find work, I won't be able to get my own place. Until I find work, I won't even know where I'll be living. Looking for an apartment now is beyond useless, because I could be in St. Louis in August, or Alaska, or New York. Room follows work.
My next several goals also more or less dependent on finding work (or else, dependent on where that work is). I want to start being active in the community again. I miss having friends and socializing, and for a time, that was mostly being done through theater. My friends were actors, and we did plays and so on, and I want to start doing that again. I've enjoyed working on a play this summer immensely, and I want to keep doing it. Establish roots, network, all that good stuff. The problem is, its hard to establish roots when you might be uprooted at any moment. This goal, too, will have to be put in abeyance until I am more settled.
Related to the above goal, I'd like to start dating again, start thinking about a family. The family concept is a little fuzzy, because my friends have been and are my family, but its all tied up in one little knot. I want to be out there.
Fourthly, I want to make an effort to pay off my student loans. As part of my bankruptcy paperwork, I had to look at what I owed, and while I knew it was a lot, the amount was still surprising. I need to pay those off, but I won't be able to until I have permanent work. Also, some of the Student Lenders have just pissed me off, and so the faster I pay them off, the sooner I will never have to deal with them again. Same with the car, although I am halfway through the five year contract, so it will be paid off in short order.
And that's it. I don't have any longer term goals. I might like to buy a house one day. I might like to be able to just do theater, which might be possible if I could retire early. But I can't even think about either until goal one uppage is complete.
It bothered me, a little, writing this that every goal also came with an obstacle. As an actor, I find it darkly amusing, because actor's are always told to "play the obstacle," but the reality is, I don't think listing the obstacle was a way of avoiding the ultimate goal (which is my fear), I think listing the obstacle is acknowledging reality (a word I used a lot, I think). Of course, if I were rationalizing, I would say the exact same thing, so who knows.
My bottom line is that at present I have two short term goals (find a job, find a place to live) and two medium term/on-going goals (find the best job in the best place, find friends/family).
I know these goals are doable and I am confident some are even imminent, but I am not sure, necessarily, if there is something more I can do to make my goals realities, which is frustrating. I'll find a job, I'll get a place to live, I know I will, but until then, I am left treading water. I know the shore is there, and I know the direction, I just can't see it yet.
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08:50:21 PM,
Thursday 2 July 2009
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WRT this, I still like Bartleby, and it is an incredible resource, escpecially if you want older texts like Shakespeare or other authors. However, without the American Heritage Dictionary, I will probably no longer visit Bartleby that often. I am also doubly annoyed because I have lost my favorite online dictionary, and I really really hope there is something better than Dictionary.com out there, because I hate Dictionary.com.
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09:45:35 PM,
Wednesday 1 July 2009
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Bartleby evidently no longer carries The American Heritage Dictionary. Bartleby has just incurred my wrath.
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09:41:25 PM,
Wednesday 1 July 2009
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Some private musings.
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09:40:33 PM,
Wednesday 1 July 2009
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The Birds
Opens July 11th at 7:30 AM!
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11:04:15 PM,
Tuesday 30 June 2009
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Today I:
Did everything already mentioned below.
Plus:
Shower
Lunch
Meeting
Dishes
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09:33:35 PM,
Tuesday 30 June 2009
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Today I:
Sent an inquiry about a possible teaching job at a Community College in Kansas.
Re-applied to a position which I had applied to back in April.
Rode my bike for an hour.
Mowed the back yard, the front yard, and both neighbor's front yard.
Folded laundry and put away cloths.
Made my bed.
Walked the dog.
Dealt with a missing check.
Still to come:
Meeting at 1:30.
Rehearsal at 6:30.
Shower.
Dishes.
Lunch.
(Not necessarily in that order.)
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04:11:10 PM,
Tuesday 30 June 2009
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Today probably should be counted as a productive day. I Got Things Done. I have a rehearsal coming up. I kept busy and not wallowing, so yeah, productive.
Go me.
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10:27:48 PM,
Monday 29 June 2009
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My sleep cycle is so messed up.
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05:06:44 PM,
Monday 29 June 2009
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